The legend of zelda ToD
by thecloakedhacka
Summary: in the lost woods there is a studio closely resembling Aperture labs  controlled by an immobile hacker with skills like Cortana's with an army of  holographic wraiths and the Zelda cast in a Truth or dare ... and Sheri 3:
1. Chapter 1

Me: Disclaimer is by me, so I own nothing, so you lawyers can go hide in the bushes with the hyenas

Link: hey Zelda

Zelda: yeah?

Link: you want to know something?

Zelda: what?

Link: i- _gets cut off when a dark cloaked dude with red eyes came, he occasionally turned dark green with light green 1 and 0 moving up and down(aka fizzling) then teleported them away_

In the lost woods

Link: where am i?

Majora: in a dark, musky, building

Link: no herp le derp

Ganon: i cant see a thing, can any one else?

Everyone exept pipit: nope

Pipit: well there is a closet, a large field with a electric fence in the middle a door that says dormitory and.. I can't make out that word, it starts with s and ends with dungeon?

Link: three things, first how did you see all of that, the place is covered in dust

Pipit: have you seen my home

Link: oh 2 OOO a dungeon, I'll be back- _2 min later-_ no dungeon item and 3 WE R IN A TUF AR DAR AWENA OMDLECK SKATTAH

_Random electric field_

?: ho ho ho it seems that my binumicals have done pretty good capturing the LoZ cast hohoho

Ilia: who are you ?

?: I am, THE HACKA 10010101 11001011, and this is my co-host sheri (sad face no epic name)

Sheri: hia peeps I will be telling you what is going on here first, you if you refuse to do a dare and your mind is un hackable-

Hacka: I do not use author power, lever, keyboard, or magic, I hack people's minds

Sheri: ahem if and your mind is un-hackable then I WILL RPE TO DEATH EVERY ONE U KNOW IN FRONT OF YOU WHILE YOU GAG ON MY FOOT THEN PUSH YOU IN TO A PIT WITH ELMO AND MAKE IMORTLE K N00BZ

Hacka: and I will revive them using /respawn and then do it again (evil laugh)

Everyone: meep

Sheri: there is everything you need when we are gone, we are evil but not jack$$3$

Everyone: finaly we don't have to canabalize tingle any more Yay

Hacka: yup so this is the end so review or THE THREAT (the I WILL RPE TO DEATH EVERY ONE U KNOW IN FRONT OF YOU WHILE YOU GAG ON MY FOOT THEN PUSH YOU IN TO A PIT WITH ELMO AND MAKE IMORTLE K N00BZ(I will call that the treat( from now on(this is just for funzies(UNLESS you don't have a account then you get off free(if you do review then you get a cookie(I 3 ctrl c & v)))))))

Sheri: also there will be something special on every five chapters

* * *

><p>to dare the loz cast please reply and add the dare or truth , if it is super cool i will add you as a co-co-host, and add you in for the 5th chapter special hohoho<p>

now time to awaken the windfish using the shovel and magic powder


	2. Chapter 2

Because I got no reviews, I will review myself so please review so I don't have to strain my poor brain everything a say is my opinon and please review please

Also I will be doing every dare unless the results are M rated ok

Disclaimer: I do not own the legend of Zelda or call of duty

Link: ahhh the sun is shining, birds are chirping, a good day to kill Ganon, except that I am stuck in this truth or dare arena

_Link walks to the arena and hears Hacka and Sheri arguing with some robotic voice_

Link: hey whats happing?

?: hey what's going on? who is this?

Hacka: umm this is link, say hi link

?: you said that you are alone…

Hacka: yah… he is not here (_types something in to computer)_? Why is he still here?

?: remember

Hacka: please 24 more hours

?: fine 24 (_voice goes out)_

Link: who was that?

Hacka: umm no one TO THE DARZ

_Lolololol_

_Link(d) I want you to loin the Gerudo army by killing Gannondorf and becoming there leader_

_Zelda (d) 1. go to the Gerudo fortress for some errands. 2.(d) Tell us why purple link is purple us that Shiek (spelling?)is neuter _

_Minda (d)say hi to some one_

_Hacka: (d) milk a cow and play call of duty_

_Thecloackedhacka_

Link: ok (does dare

Gerudo guard: (_in seductive voice)_ why hellooo are high and mighty king, we heard you have the master sword.

Link: uhh yes… WAIT WAT R U DOEN WIT MAH PANTS AHHHHH

Hacka: umm ok then next (_give Zelda a shopping list)_ _ now go_

Zelda: ok

Ten minutes later

Zelda: I back

Hacka: that was quick any way next

Zelda: well you see the three colors of the Triforce are red green and blue, Nintendo said 'hey what kind of plot twist can we make ... I know red and blue are the only prime colors and if they mix any of those colors with green it looks horrid and hard to render on a GBA or GC so they did something easer, purple.

Hacka: ok that was long and next dar… NOOOOO SHIEK GENDER DEBATES just say he/she is,please Zelda PLeaSE

Zelda: … ok he/ She is neuter

Hacka: THANK YOU ERAD XTEN

Minda: Noooooo I can't please anything but that!

Sheri: ok then (_pulls out the gun)_

Minda: 0.0 ok (goes to a person)

Dude: hey

Minda: (shyly) hai ok dare done (kills the dude)

Hacka: ok then that was creepy sleduyushchiĭ vyzov (Russian) oh ok then I am from Wisconsin so that is fine (milks cow) ok then ne- oh no

Zant: what's wrong (grabs dare) oh no

All: (reads) OH NO NOT CALL OF DUTY NOOOO! THE GAME FOR NO LIFERS

Zelda: it has no good plot line

Hacka: the only one who likes it is Sheri and I have to do it grrr (plays call of duty( haha lazyness))

Ok that is the end of this chapter because I am lazy and no reviewers so please review

I am going to do a contest and that contest is to guess the language and all who get it wright get a cookie, and get in to the fifth chapter special hehehe

The word is: 다음 도전


	3. Chapter 3 of random

Yay chapter three

Also in the reviews add an explanation about you (sort of like a OC) for the fifth chapter hehe

and also guess how ? is and you will be rewarded hehehe

And watch me and my friend's minecraft multiplayer LPs

And tell me where the "following challenge" thing was, I could not see it

hacka: please I need this time you will get your money soon I will get you the money and the test subjects in two days please

?: fine two day (click)

Sheri: ugg you are in sucha debt hacka, and she really needs that money, it is expensive to pump air down here!

Hacka: I know I know but there will be fun for her in the fith chapter

_Zora Princess: Typing on a kindle, so no spell check D:. _

_Midna, I triple-dog-dare you to (prepare to hate me forever) kiss Zant! (if he's not  
>there, then you're off the hook).<em>

_Link, I dare you to tell Princess Ruto she's pretty (SUFFER YOU FOOL, SUFFER!)._

_Ganondork (I know you' not an idiot, but I mean Ganondorf), tell me the truth, do you have the hots for Nabooru ; )?  
>Pipit, tell me the truth, where did you take Karane for your first date?<br>Princess Zelda, prepare for a lame question, what would your wedding dress  
>look like?<em>

_My only request of you, the awesome writer of this very funny fic,  
>is that you bring Demon Lord Ghirahim (I found out his nick-name is Debbie<br>Diamonds! XD) and the Sword Spirit Fi into this wonderful game. If you do, I  
>will be forever grateful, and I will bake you a cake in any flavor you wish!<br>Thank You!_

Hacka: woow! My first reviewer high five you are also in my chapter five thing I am doing because you reviewed first

Zp: yeah wooooooooOOOOoooOOooow HIGH FIVE MAN YEAH( high fives then punches air and disappears randomly(I don't know your personality so random dude is the filler defalt)

Hacka: ok then to the dares

Sheri: gasp the triple dog dare (dramatic music, thunder, guy from call of duty came pelvic thrusting randomly))

Minda: fine I will kiss my hehehe

Zant: what no no NOOOO (gets kissed by Minda then starts to flail around madly and choking)

Hacka: what did you do

Minda: well you know my demon hair

Hacka: yeah

Minda: I have hair growing on my tongue,

All but minda: yeshablegla

Hacka: next dare then, eck

Link: oh no I have to find her again R-R-RUT-TT-TO?

Ruto: yes my precious HEHE

Link: um y-y-youarethemotsprettythingever (runs)

Hacka: umm well for the next hour is a blur here is a sum Cave Jonson would be proud of – link see dare, he do dare, Ruto jump link, random curtain falls, zerg I mean Ruto omnom nom one links virginity-…never mind next dare

Sheri: wait a minuet %3 hasn't link all ready lost his virginity?

Guy from call of duty: yeah he hasss man YEAHH CAMPIN ON THE BELL TOWAH LIIK AHH BAHWZ

Hacka: .

Sheri: …^5 …

Link: lol wut

Zelda: … ЧТО

Zant: … now that's worse than tingle

Every one: agreed

chugga_**A**_conroy: hey everyone, it is chuggaaconroy

every one: where the hell did he come from?

Hacka: fijt4g/23/5/time/all/freacin'20%normal

(blur)

Hacka: ok then now NEXTS FOR DINS SAKE

Ganondorf: no I do not

Nabooru: yes you do now just because I look like all the women that you have slept with I still I still have a name

Hacka: ok next

Pipit: well I took Karane to the lumpy pumpkin first then we did some shoping in the bazaar then

I showed her my house then that was the end of the date, all because of the dirt of my house. grr

Hacka: ok then Zelda I have been wondering that also

Zelda: well I have no intention of marriage if I was forced to then I would wear what I wore in OoT

Hacka: ok then and so I agree to your terms *someone get Fi and Ghirahim from the crates in the back please* ok then next- WAIT do not give me cake because it iv ah liyhhhh(I like chocolate though (wink-wink, nudge-nudge ))- dares, oh iwishihadanaccount I 3 ToD's also and you get in to the special five but please add dare ok

Iwishihadanaccount: ok then :(

_Princess Zora:For crying out loud, this is the second time I found a story I  
>reviewed where I types my reviewer name reversed! What was I thinking? Anyway,<br>I'm Zora Princess, I just messed up my name, and also, the word is Korean for  
>"the following challenge" I may be wrong, but I don't think I am. Don't ask how I know that. Anyway, <em>

_I dare Pippit to hold a night Remlit and take a picture. _

_I dare Link to ride Epona bare-back for ten minutes, _

_and I dare Zelda to jump of Hyrule Bridge with nothing but the sailcloth and he white dress.  
>Thanks-Zora<em>

Hacka: it is ok and woot you get in 5 … again? Ok then, do it

Pipit: gaspzorks ah wight wemwit ahhhhhwhwhwhw itz sow coot

Night remlit: o hai cahn eye eht u plz

Pippit: (anime "omg I r in wuv" face) yes you may

Steve the red Pikmin: yahhhhhh I will save you (hits remlit with leaf twice( it runs)

Emilomar: yes you are a trooper

Hacka: ok why is chuggaaconroy here?

Chuggaaconroy: (boom. gone)

Hacka: ok then next

Link: ummm no

Hacka: yes

Link: never

Sheri: ok then (click click)

Link: riding a hylian horse is worse than an earth horse, especially bare back, death is better

Sheri: yay ((prepare for long suspence and music (baaaaaaaaa baadadaaaaaaa ba dodelafaaaaa llllaaaa lleee kkaaaaaaa) sheri pulled the trigger, linky go byebye)

Hacka: ne-

Zelda: ok (does dare so no one can get ready for looking up her skirt) haaaahaha

Every one: awwwnn

Ha lazyness

The word is : прывітанне

One more chapter so plz review I will read ananomus reviews if you add your name and personality, for the 5th chapter


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